If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
In fact the words, “Fell in love” conveys wrong meaning if taken literally. True mutual love is not a ditch that you can fall in. True love is a binding force and the couple should say, “We are raised in love” instead of saying that, “We fell in love” .
Marriage is to be based on Give and Take …
So only if you give love and understanding to your partner then you will get the same back. Do not wait for the other person to show kindness and affection rather give it first and it will sure act as a boomerang and return to you.
When two persons decide to live together then due to various life conditions and different view point of each there is bound to be some difference of opinion in certain things. No two persons in this world can be exactly same in thoughts and feelings and the way they react. Here I am reminded of a beautiful thought by Robert Anderson, “In every marriage more than a week old there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage.”
So instead of finding and reinforcing reasons for separation both should introspect and mutually find reasons and ways for staying together.
Bible also opposes separation, “Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.”
Here are some Tips, suggestions and remedies which will help strengthen the marital bond:
• After finding a life partner both should take time to know each other well and once each is convinced of the other partner’s good and cooperative nature only then they should get married. This way the chances of separation are reduced.
• Marrying at very young age say about twenty years or before increases the risk of divorce. Therefore avoid early marriage.
• Avoid living together before marriage. Dating or courting is all right but staying together all the time is not recommended. Statistics reveal that those who live together before marriage tend to divorce more.
• Living together of two strangers needs adjustment. There can be differences, difference of opinion or liking. Never stop Communicating, discuss the matter and take counselling from experts if needed. Living together is more important for family and children.
• Make a worship place (Mandir) in your house; it could be in the corner of your bedroom or in a separate room. Right from beginning after marriage make a habit of daily worshiping together in the morning as well as in the evening. This greatly helps in reducing the gap between two personalities. It has been observed that the married couples who worship together tend to stay together happily.
• Take time out and go on holidays at least once a year and spend time together over the weekends and refresh yourself. This will make a great change and renew your mutual love as you give time to each other.
• In case you face problems and nothing seems to work, then do not lose hope as the Tulsi Gayatri mantra given below can work wonders and save your marriage. Recite one mala (108 bead rosary) of the mantra every evening. It is much more beneficial if both partners recite it separately.
• If there is disharmony between husband and wife and they both wish to resolve the matter in order to avoid divorce then they should at least once a week go to a temple and there pour some pure ghee in constantly burning lamp (akhandjyot). Doing this will ease relations between them and harmony will return.
• If due to afflictions caused by Saturn in a partner’s birth chart there is disharmony and unnecessary fight then immerse one and a quarter kilogram of soft coal (lakdi ka koyla) in a river on a Saturday.
• If you are the head of the family then avoid making a bedroom in the west direction as living in a west side room can cause separation from partner.
Article by: Jyotirvid Pawan Kumar